Trouble Experiencing Orgasm? Five Ideas to Try
An anonymous woman left a comment on the Your Sex Questions Welcomed on Matthew Paul Turner's Blog Jesus Needs New PR. I wrote an answer to her question, and since the article wasn't posted during SexWeek, I'm running it here.
Her question:
"I've been married to my husband for 12 years and have never had an orgasm. Now I've been on antidepressants for a few years, and the side effects of lexapro seem to have completely wiped out my chances of ever experiencing one. I see the whole thing as a lost cause."
My answer:
Sweetie, I have so been there. You are not alone. Here are some things to try that might really help.
First of all, there is a natural food substance that has some very encouraging test results at helping both orgasm AND depression. It’s called DHA, and when medical grade fish oil is taken in certain doses based on body weight, the DHA in the fish oil has been shown in clinical studies to remedy depression and make orgasms more easily experienced, more plentiful, and more intense. This has really worked for me personally. Before I go any further, let me be abundantly clear. I am NOT telling you to quit taking your medicine. I AM suggesting you consider the changes I made that worked for me.
1) Changed healthcare providers so my antidepressant medication was prescribed by a woman psychiatrist instead of a man psychiatrist. This made it much easier for me personally to talk about orgasm. Sexual health is a valid health topic but I personally found it much easier to talk to a woman about my womanly experience.
2) At the suggestion of my doctor, changed antidepressant from Prozac to Wellbutrin. SSRI (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) are famous for preventing orgasm. Which is pretty darn depressing if you ask me. Wellbutrin affects levels of dopamine in the brain instead of levels of serotonin which is why Wellbutrin has a MUCH lower risk of sexual side effects and it’s evah so much easier to come while taking Wellbutrin than Prozac. Certainly was for me.
3) Read and followed the protocol in the book The Orgasmic Diet. The girl who wrote this book has been there and done that and her research is impeccable. This is the DHA fish oil I was telling you about at the beginning. And please do read the book. Please do not run out to the nearest grocery store and buy an 8 dollar bottle of fish oil. Please get the medical grade stuff which has been tested to show the good results I’m talking about. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, and I don’t want you to be unnecessarily disappointed. Try the real protocol, don’t take short cuts.
4) Availed myself of those lovely things that go buzz in the night. Yes, I’m talking about a vibrator. They ought to be called the orgasm good fairy’s magic wand. Ah yes, I believe one of them actually is called a magic wand. Several women prefer the toy designed by a woman sex therapist called the Emotional Bliss Womolia. That’s the one I recommend you try.
5) Pray. I am not kidding. My favorite verse on prayer is from the Psalms. “the Lord will perfect that which concerns me” and it’s clear to me darlin that this lack of orgasm concerns you. It sure as heck concerned me when I experienced that lack. God cares about every detail of our lives. Pray specifically that you will experience orgasm. Do all the practical things you know to do, and pray that God will bless your efforts and crown you with success. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT). I am not kidding. Let’s pray right now. Our creator God, we bring to you your precious daughter who has not yet experienced an orgasm with her husband. Lord, we ask you to help her. We ask you to fill in the gaps and empower her to experience this gift from you. Lord we trust your generous good heart toward us as women if for no other reason than you inventing the clitoris and giving us something on our bodies that serves no other purpose than to give us pleasure. Release this precious woman into all the pleasure and joy you’ve called her to. We pray this in the name of Jesus, amen.
Hugs to you, darlin. Email me if you need me. askshula@sensuouswife.com
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August 22nd, 2009 at 3:45 pm
I just wanted to chime in and agree with you about the change in medication. I was on the same medication (prozac) and changed to wellbutrin for the same reason. I pray that you find the solution to this issue.
August 26th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Hey I've been meaning to ask if you wanted to do a guest post on my site or simply chime in over at our sexavation series. I'm sure your advice and tools will be grately appreciated.
Felicia - I Complete Me´s last blog ..Sexavation Series – Spice it up w/ Communication
September 1st, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Felicia,
I would be honored to do a guest post on your site!
Love,
Shula